So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
