Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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