Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
