He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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