I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
