Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
