Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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