new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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