he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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