she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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