He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
