Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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