so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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