My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Green mimosas i think yes
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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