Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
