can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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