Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
