sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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