omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
