My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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