$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
