am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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