I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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