I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
