Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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