i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
