Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
