She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
