in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
no, he came in my armpit
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
