Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
