my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
