wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
