hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize