It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
