This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
God, I missed his penis.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
