Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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