how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
