I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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