he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She's the barista slut.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
