We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
