I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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