At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
