Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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