I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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