shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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