last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
