Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
