Grow some girl-balls and come out already
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
