we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize