hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
