come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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