She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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