I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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