Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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