: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
