Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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