community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
