If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
