lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
