So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
