how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
