you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
