i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
