just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
