even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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