I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Randomize
