Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize